Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize