Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
