the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
