No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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