i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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