you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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