another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do