i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.