it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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