Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
