Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
