Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
