you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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