I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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