i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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