Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dicks are not precious.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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