New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
