i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
wow bdsm is so cute
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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