So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
