Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
