never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
