Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
