lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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