It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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