Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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