no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
