Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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