The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
