If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
