bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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