I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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