winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
