i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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