but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
