Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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