Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
