dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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