New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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