Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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