Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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