Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
