I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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