seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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