You made me cry and you don't even care
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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