This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
