all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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