Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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