Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize