I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
