I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
