you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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