whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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