I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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