Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize