i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize