Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
