the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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