We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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