You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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