She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
