Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
