quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat